I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize