all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
