I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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