The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
