if i died would you start the facebook group?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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