He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
