Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
