just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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