I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
