That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
