I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
