She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
