Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
two words: eviction party
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
