Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
