Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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