His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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