i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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