at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
