mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
