I'm going to jail i love you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
