so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
ttyl tear gas
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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