no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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