My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
