Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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