she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
