He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
