You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
