she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want nice things and good sex
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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