that's an acceptable place to lick
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize