She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize