a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the condom got lost in my hair
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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