your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
