you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
