its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sorry my hands just texted you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
