Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
