I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
