sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
