the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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