I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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