If i come over, it means nothing
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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