You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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