you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
