Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
