i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
