Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
