i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
