3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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