Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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