goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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