Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
