My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
