Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
