As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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