no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
