Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
being pregnant is like rehab
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
