i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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