I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
