Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
