I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
