hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
