Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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