But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
