do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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