wakey wakey hands off snakey
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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