I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
