Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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